There is a lot that a we can do to make ourselves feel fabulous. Masturbation is one of them. It is a way to release our tensions both sexual and otherwise. But, if you do it in the same way every time, it might actually get boring. We wouldn’t want that. In this post, I want to suggest new ways to explore our bodies, not only for masturbation, but also so we can learn and experience new things about ourselves.
It might be a novel concept to some, it certainly was to me, when the idea was first introduced: Not going straight for your crotch when you are going to self-pleasure. This is a key concept particularly for those who want to have what are called “full-body orgasms.” While I’m sure it can happen, it’s not as likely to occur when all our sexual energy is focused on what is between our legs.
Ok, so, getting in touch with yourself, before you even start touching yourself. Everyone is busy now-a-days, something is always going on. There’s school, work, children and their various activities, illnesses, holidays, and on and on. We often fall into the trap of saying Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow. We have a finite amount of time left on Earth and there is no way to know when our last day is, so that old adage of Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today is so important. In other words, let’s get in touch with ourselves!
As a society, we are constantly bombarded by various forms of media telling us that we are not enough: not thin enough, not tall enough, not “man” enough, not “woman” enough. What are these messages trying to tell us? Well, usually they want us to subscribe to something, buy a product – which may or may not deliver the promised results. These messages really hit home for me, personally.
I grew up overweight and I am still heavy as a twenty-something. For years I dieted, and hated myself for not being like the women in magazines. But what was that for? I must admit, I feel very fortunate to have gained some level of self-acceptance while I am relatively young. Trust me when I say, like just about anyone, there are days where I feel very unhappy with the body I have, or that I can’t fit into a certain garment, or that it doesn’t quite sit right on my short frame. I gave up on wishing for height, because it’s just not going to happen. I’ve made it into a joke now with my friends and family and it’s rather amusing that both of my younger siblings tower over me!
Letting go of what you cannot change is a huge first step in accepting who you are and what you have. Sometimes the things you don’t like so much about yourself, cannot be ignored or passed over, but remind yourself and realize that you are a whole package. You are not just your shortcomings, you are way, way more than them.
Next, you might want to consider what you want to change and how you might achieve that. Whether it’s to get an hour more sleep each night, hit the gym one more day a week (once is better than none at all!), get a new hairdo, learn to manage stress through breathing or finding a creative outlet, make it a small, easily achievable goal. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure by making the goal unrealistic. Don’t wish for the moon, stars, and the heavens unless you are willing to put in tons of equivalent effort. Remember that you get what you put into it.
And of course, remember to relish the parts of yourself that you already love! If your eyes are your best feature, try highlighting them with fabulous eye makeup; If you have a slim waist, accentuate it with a belt to draw the eye to it. Pamper yourself!
[I realize that I've barely scratched the surface on self-image or body image issues, but I hope that the above suggestions give you some insight into really starting to love who you are.]
Now, that I’ve gone on a huge tangent, let’s get back to what this post was supposed to be about: Masturbation! The self acceptance that you incorporate into your very core, is just the start, a groundwork, if you will, to making your self pleasuring sessions that much more intense.
A few times this past week, I threw a question out via both my personal Facebook page and my Twitter account to hear people’s ideas on how they pamper themselves. It’s true, that this is not strictly about masturbation per se, however, it’s a building block to getting your body in tune for receiving any kind of pleasurable touch; reawakening your body, head to toe and everything in between. The ideas my friends and colleagues shared with me, didn’t cross my mind, but they sound so luxurious I can’t wait to try them out!
- Eating right and exercising;
- Treating oneself to pricier hair products;
- Taking a longer shower, or a scented bubble bath;
- Getting a massage or a facial;
- Using a favorite lotion (in this case Coconut Body Butter was suggested) and lathering it on right after a shower;
- Taking the time to scrub, exfoliate, shave/trim, and otherwise groom oneself so as to have silky soft skin;
- Listening to some fun (or sexy!) music which you can feel with your whole body and move to;
- Spending time with friends.
Essentially you want to not only engage what’s between your legs, but also what’s between the ears. By arousing the other parts of yourself, it will magnify your self pleasuring sessions.
As I mentioned before, you don’t want to just head for the crotch. When you’re going to get down with yourself, spend a few moments just breathing, feeling your heart beating. Touch yourself all over your body, anywhere you can comfortably reach, whilst avoiding the genitals. Incorporate a steamy fantasy if you wish. Mainly focus on how it feels to touch the spots you are touching – what your hand is feeling - and how it feels to be touched in those areas. Pay attention to whether a certain spot feels more sensitive, or ticklish, or sexy. Use different kinds of pressures in your touching. Try lightly versus more firmly. If you are using a vibrator, drag it along your skin (arms, wrists, thighs, behind the knees, etc.) and pay attention to the different sensations as they pass through you.
Also, you can do this with a partner! Take turns giving and receiving touch. If it will help you focus (or if you want to make it steamier), take turns wearing a blindfold so your nerve endings can hone in on the sensations passing over every inch of your body. Use different materials and see what kinds of reactions you have to each; you might even make a game out of it, and attempt to guess what your partner just ran over your arm or your thigh.
When you are doing this, I recommend spending a minimum of 5 minutes to begin to get acclimated to various kinds of newer sensations before moving on to self pleasuring that involves your genitals. If you can spare the time, try to hold out a little bit longer. Once you do reach between your legs, try out some of the novel ideas that were mentioned in my previous post on masturbation. Mix it up every so often, and incorporate new elements into your sure-fire triggers.
Switching it up can be a great self-growth and learning experience! Most of all, have fun with it! And remember to love yourself!